FIVE YEARS = 60 MONTHS

March 29, 2005 was the day we decided to throw away birth control.

As much as we were loving on each other,

we didn’t think that it would take long for me to get pregnant.

Every month we got excited because my period was two to three weeks late.

Little did we know that was classic PCOS.

We’d find that out three years later.

Anyway,

it’s five years later and we’re still not parents.

BARREN!

I’ve been down in the dumps,

really low.

My period started on March 29th.

Felt like a slap in the face.

My 41-year-old uterus is useless.

I decided to climb out of the darkness.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

Shug and I are in a good place.

We still love and respect each other.

We still want the best for each other.

And we’re seriously looking into other options for starting our family.

So,

I think I’ll be posting more.

It’s time to move on.

Time to stop obsessing about how much time has passed.

Look forward to the future.

God has something special planned for us.

Otherwise we wouldn’t have made this far.

 Together.

FIVE YEARS = 60 Months.

Uh……….yeah……..

This is My Best Friend In The Whole Wide World Baby Girl - Kennedy Simone

See that look?

That’s exactly how I feel.

I’ll start posting again after the PMDD passes.

I’ve got nothing y’all….

Seriously ya’ll,

I’ve got NOTHING!!!

Life is moving along,

we’re doing well.

Seeing the devastation in Haiti is heartbreaking.

We would love to adopt  a Haitian orphan.

We may seriously look into it.

We found out that my co-worker isn’t a tissue match with MyDaddy.

We were so disappointed;

but my poor co-worker was and still is absolutely heartbroken.

He really wanted to help.

Prayerfully MyDaddy will get his kidney this year.

 So other than regular day-to-day stuff,

that’s about it.

Told you,

I’ve got nothing y’all……

Still in a funky mood….

That’s all!

Picture Post cuz still don’t feel like writing…

December 18th - Me & Shug dancing my company Holiday Party.

December 27th - our first full day on our family cruise to Mexico.

 

December 28th - Our ship in port in Progesso, Yucatan Mexico

December 28th - MyMama & MyDaddy. We went on a family cruise to celebrate MyParents 45th anniversary.

December 28th - Shug enjoying an adult beverage. He's so silly!

December 29th - The lovely Gulf of Mexico in Cozumel, Mexico.

December 29th - Shug & I at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville in Cozumel, Mexico.

Happy New Year!!

 

Me & Shug on the beach in Cozumel, Mexico.

I’ll post an update at some point and before this week ends.

Still don’t feel like writing…..

MyMama isn’t going to be able to donate a kidney to MyDaddy.

She is devastated.

Her kidney function wouldn’t be at a healthy level if she donates.

A co-worker of mine has offered to donate.

He faxed his paperwork yesterday.

Isn’t that amazingly wonderful?

Thanksgiving was nice,

but no one was in the mood for turkey.

We ate gumbo and cornbread dressing.

We’ve decided to volunteer next year.

I see my  doctor on Monday,

I’ve decided to tell her that we are no longer trying to conceive.

She’ll probably put my on hbp medication.

Which is fine,

my uterus and ovaries are useless.

My annual is on Thursday.

I’ll probably make my doctor cry again.

There’s more,

but I’m still not in the mood to write.

This blog is depressing as hell!

It’s just a number……..

It’s one thing to say you’re 40,

but BEING in your 40’s is totally different!

At least it is,

in my mind.

Last year at this time, 

I was just trying to keep my head above water.

This year,

Shug is healthy,

we’re happy,

and all is as well as it could be.

I’m blessed to be able to see 41.

It’s just a number……

What’s really happening?

Not much.

Freaking the fuck out about turning 41 on Sunday, November 15th.

Took my braids out last weekend, rocking a natural fro.

Shug hates it.

Too bad, I’m rocking the natural hair for at least a month.

I miss The Tchoupitoulas so much.

I take out his box of toys out every now and then and smell his collar.

His scent is almost gone.

I cried on Saturday because The Breeder’s Cup was on.

 MyBaby Chop loved horse racing.

I’m looking forward to December 26th.

The entire family (MyMama, MyDaddy, Bigger Brother & his family, Big Brother & his daughter, me & Shug) is going on a cruise to celebrate Mom & Dad’s 45th Anniversary.

The kidney transplant will be in January, after we return from Mexico.

In the meantime, MyDaddy is having his gallbladder removed on Tuesday.

It’s only functioning at 15% and he’s in a lot of pain.

Shug’s Grandmother was placed in hospice last month.

We took a quick trip home to visit with her.

Yesterday the hospice nurse released her from hospice.

A home health care agency is going to care for her.

We’re convinced Grandma is going to outlive all of us.

Shug & I plan on travelling a lot next year.

We’ve also decided not take anymore fertility meds.

As I said before, it’s a waste of time and money.

I don’t know where that leaves my blog.

I’ll probably continue to blog, but more about our life.

Whatever I blog about, hopefully it will be more often.

I’ve been in a funk and haven’t felt like blogging.

Have I mentioned that I’m FREAKING THE FUCK OUT about turning 41?!

ummm……….yeah……….so that’s what’s really happening.

Humbled…

I have wonderful bloggy friends!

Thank you for the words of encouragement,

the offers to fund raise,

and the general support.

Thank you for holding my hand.

Thank you for listening.

I appreciate you ladies so much.

I’m still feeling the same way,

but you ladies have put  a lot on mind.

I appreciate that none of you are letting me off that easy.

I will take your advice into consideration,

and keep you posted on what we decide to do.

In the meantime,

I am truly humbled by you all!