Posts Tagged ‘sad’

I’m sad & my feelings are hurt….

Posted: February 17, 2010 in Family
Tags: , ,

The view from my office last Friday.

Without going into much detail.

My Bigger Brother and his daughter have hurt my feelings.

He continually compares her to me,

as if I’m the worst person in the world.

I’m not.

It’s a sad, sad situation.

I’m sad & my feelings are hurt…..

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Thank you!

I have wonderful bloggy friends!

Thank you for the words of encouragement,

the offers to fund raise,

and the general support.

Thank you for holding my hand.

Thank you for listening.

I appreciate you ladies so much.

I’m still feeling the same way,

but you ladies have put  a lot on mind.

I appreciate that none of you are letting me off that easy.

I will take your advice into consideration,

and keep you posted on what we decide to do.

In the meantime,

I am truly humbled by you all!

The Tchoupitoulas

The Tchoupitoulas

We had to put The Tchoupitoulas to sleep yesterday.

I have never felt so much pain in my life.

He was my boy,

my baby,

I can’t believe he’s gone.

He was 16 months old,

and so full of life.

It felt so wrong to put him down,

but we had to.

My boy is gone,

gone forever.

I’m going to be silent for a while.

I’ll comment,

but I just don’t have much to say these days.

The past four years have been so painful.

Shug and I have been through it.

We’re good people.

We love each other,

we would make great parents.

But it seems that we have fallen out of God’s Favor.

I’ll be back,

but right now

I just can’t.

AloneLittle flashes of anger,

have me doubting that we got lucky this month.

I feel the same way I usually do after I ovulate.

Heavy burning uterus,

heavy ovaries,

and PMDD.

Trying to walk on faith here,

but all of this has me filled with…..

DOUBT!

broken_eggs1

My period started bright and early this morning.

I knew it would.

I haven’t cried yet.

I took a whole blue pill instead of half.

I’m trying really hard not question God’s plan.

But I can’t help but ask,

Why not us?

mad1

at the world right now.

It’s been a bad week.

PMDD in full fucking force.

I’m craving carbs & sugar.

I’m meaner than a hornet.

I’ve got a good bit of self pity going on.

And STILL,

I hold out hope that this just MIGHT  be my month.

All clues point to my period starting on Sunday,

if not earlier!

And I’m STILL hoping, wishing & praying that we’ll get lucky.

Why do I do this to myself?

This has to be a form of self-hatred.

I should have taken that  little blue pill this morning.

getinmybelly11

I want a baby in my belly.

That’s all.