It’s creeping up! *Updated*

I’m headed to the doctor today.

My blood pressure has been elevated lately.

I’m not surprised with everything that has been going on.

High blood pressure runs in my family.

My daddy has it.

My oldest brother has it.

My other brother has heart disease.

I’ve had borderline high blood pressure for about seven years.

So when I noticed it creeping up,

and staying up

panic set in.

I’m also 30 lbs heavier than I was last year at this time.

I know that is a factor also.

Isn’t high blood pressure associated with PCOS?
Yes it is. But it can be managed with weight control, low sodium diet & exercise.

How does all of this factor into us trying to conceive?
HUGE FACTOR!  She can’t prescribe hbp medication while I’m trying to conceive.  Well that’s not entirely true. There are two medications that she could prescribe. I had a bad reaction to one and she refuses to prescribe the other because the side effects are horrible.

What if I get pregnant?
In her words, “That would be wonderful”! But I’m setting myself up for a hard pregnancy if I don’t get myself together right now.

Can pregnant women take blood pressure medication?
Since my hbp is still borderline, she wants me to lose the 30 lbs that I have gained and an additional 20 lbs.  Eat a low sodium and low cholesterol diet. And get my fat lazy ass back in the gym at least five times a week. 

Oh well, I guess I’ll find out what my PCP has to say about all of this.
She’s not happy with the blood pressure or the weight gain. As long as I’m trying to conceive her hands are tied. It’s up to me to handle my blood pressure. I have a follow up appt in 12 weeks. She said there has to be significant changes in my weight & blood pressure at that appointment. Otherwise, we will  need to speak about how healthy it is to continue trying to conceive. 

That was all the motivation that I needed, time to get serious again and get back into fighting shape.

 

100th Post!

I started this blog on June 20, 2008.

The day after my first and only IUI.

I was  so excited typing my first post.

I had know idea that from that point on,

2008 would suck ass!!

It was one thing after another.

A failed IUI.

An ill fated decision to not pursue IVF after that failed IUI.

My aunt losing her battle to breast cancer.

A mutual agreement to pursue IVF in January 2009;

only to be derailed by Shug’s horrific knee/foot injury.

It was an ugly year.

It brought us to our knees.

But we made it.

We are blessed!

Tomorrow I’ll start another medicated cycle.

Once again,

I’m excited.

And hopeful.

Prayerfully,

my 200th post will be about my pregnancy.

Today is…..

CD1!!

Doing the happy dance!

It’s a long shot,

but we are going forward with medicated cycles.

Met.formi.n, Let.raz.ole & P.r.omet.rium.

Along with acupuncture and herbs.

The first cycle will be monitored.

We’ll start on CD 3 next month.

And can I say thank you?

You all have been so supportive.

I thank God for all of you!

Now,

let’s all do the Happy Dance!!

I still have hope….

First of all,

I’m feeling much better.

Still having a little pain,

but nothing like the severe pain that I experienced on Monday.

So anyway,

I’m not ready to give up on trying to make a baby.

I’ve been thinking about calling my doctor.

I want to try a few medicated cycles.

I’ve never tried a medicated cycled along with me.t.form.in

and acupuncture.

It’s cheaper than IUI;

and since IVF is out of the question

it’s seems like it’s totally do-able.

I just made the appointment,

before I talked myself out of it.

I have a consultation scheduled on Tuesday at 10:45 AM.

Yay me!!

I’ve also been thinking about  BRAC Analysis.

I think I should do it.

And if it’s possible,

I’ll do it on Tuesday.

Shug is all for the testing,

he’s not excited about the medicated cycles.

And I understand where he’s coming from;

but since we can’t afford to do IVF

I feel like we should be doing something.

ANYTHING other than nothing!

I know it’s a long shot,

but I want to try.

I’m just not ready to give up yet.

For some strange reason,

I still have hope.

Patiently Waiting….

for my period to start.

Today is CD 30.

I just knew it would start yesterday.

I’ve had the cramping, burning nether region for about a week.

As much I as hope, wish and pray that I’m pregnant,

I don’t think that I am.

I guess I’m going back to 32 day cycles.

All I know is that the horrible mood swings are gone.

THANK YOU GOD & BABY JESUS!!

If my period doesn’t show up by next Sunday,

I’ll POAS.

Until then,

I’ll continue to wait – impatiently.

Much better!

I’m over the ick.

Thank God!

I had a great weekend.

Shug & I chilled.

Made the most of my fertile time.

Acupuncture on Saturday morning was AMAZING.

She changed one of my herbs after looking at my tongue.

It’s the one for circulation.

The new herb is a little stronger.

We went to the movies last night.

We saw the new J.a.son Sta.tha.m movie.

Cr.an.k H.i.gh V.ol.tag.e

Lots of action & hilarious at the same time.

So that’s it.

This week is starting out great.

And for that I’m thankful.

It’s that time again….

It’s my fertile time.

Copious of amounts of fertile cervical mucous.

Daily sessy times.

The 29th of this month

is when we started trying to make a baby,

FOUR YEARS AGO!

Hoping,

Wishing,

Praying

that this will be our month…..

Month #46

We’ve been trying to make a baby for 46 months!

46 FUCKING MONTHS!!!

Wooosaaahhh………..

*taking a slow deep breath*

I’m fairly certain that I ovulated on Tuesday.

I had the usual symptoms

Burning nether region, bloating and some serious soreness in my left ovary.

Shug & I have been enjoying my fertile time.

We’ve been going at like teenagers since Saturday.

And we’ve had a lot fun doing it!

We always do.

So now, I guess I’m in the two week wait.

My version of the two week wait has changed in these four years of trying.

I used to eat right, increase my water consumption and restrict certain foods.

I used to jump at and document everything that I thought was symptom.

I would chart, take my temperature, check cm….I did it all.

Not anymore.

Doing all of that stuff nearly drove me crazy.

It doesn’t help that my body plays cruel cruel tricks on me.

About every other month or so, I get veiny boobs and I throw up before my period starts.

I don’t say anything to anyone

I don’t test

And I’m no longer surprised when my period starts right on time.

Some may read this and think that I’m having chemical pregnancies.

No, that would be too much like right!

These very same symptoms happened when I did my IUI and was being monitored by RE.

My IUI failed to get us pregnant.

So I no longer look at the TWW as others do.

I no longer buy into the TWW.

I throw caution to the wind and I do everything that I want to.

If I want to drink alchol, I do.

If I want to eat garbage, I do.

If I want to drink caffeine, I do.

I do what I have to do to just to get through it.

46 months……..46 FUCKING MONTHS!!

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do it….

Because I felt like the F*@k You Up Fairy!

I took my first z.o.loft pill today.

My period,

Yeah I said it

Fuck that Aunt Flo bullshit

I’m a grown ass woman

I bleed

I have a PERIOD!

Unfortunately like clockwork

Every 32 days!!!

I usually have PMS a week before I bleed

Sometimes a few days before

But not usually the day of.

Anyway

My period started this morning

I cried like I usually do

And then I went to work

And the rage started!

Uncontrollable rage.

Shug had to bring me a pill.

Amazingly

It worked

And it worked quickly.

As you can tell

I’m still a little bitchy

But trust and believe

I’m much better than I was earlier today!

I’ll take another tomorrow.

I don’t want the F*&k You Up Fairy to show up again!