Posts Tagged ‘PMS’

This is My Best Friend In The Whole Wide World Baby Girl - Kennedy Simone

See that look?

That’s exactly how I feel.

I’ll start posting again after the PMDD passes.

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123So I’ve been quiet again.

Not really talking about infertility.

Not talking about how I really feel about infertility.

Not talking about much of anything.

The truth is,

we’re wasting our time doing anything other than IVF.

The truth is,

we can’t afford IVF.

The truth is,

we can afford IVF internationally & could possibly make it happen next year.

The truth is,

I don’t really want to do international IVF.

The truth is,

I think we’re done.

I think we’re done.

It hurts to type that,

but it’s time to be honest.

It hurts to admit it,

but it’s time to be honest.

54 months is a long time.

We should have two children by now.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of hoping,

wishing,

and praying.

I’m tired of jumping at imaginary pregnancy symptoms.

I’m tired of getting my hopes up when my period is late.

I’m tired.

Shug is tired.

We’re tired.

Unless God blesses us with a true miracle,

we probably will not be parents.

Ummm…… yeah,

it’s time to be honest.

that’s all!

No picture,

I’m still feeling funky!

Rae asked for an update,

so here it is.

Ultrasound was good.

The dominant follicle was in my left ovary.

The nurse called early Thursday morning,

my lab work was “REALLY GOOD”.

I didn’t ask for numbers,

just didn’t feel like it.

I know what PMDD feels like,

so it doesn’t matter how good the numbers were.

That’s all I’ve got.

I’ll post more when I feel better

and after my period starts.

Until then,

eh!

but I am sooooooo NOT pregnant!

I’m going to waste my time at 2:30

and go to my CD21 monitoring appt.

And I should have taken a little blue pill this morning,

because my irrational rage is

OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL!!!

AloneLittle flashes of anger,

have me doubting that we got lucky this month.

I feel the same way I usually do after I ovulate.

Heavy burning uterus,

heavy ovaries,

and PMDD.

Trying to walk on faith here,

but all of this has me filled with…..

DOUBT!

ExcitedCD1!!