Posts Tagged ‘PMS’

broken_eggs1

My period started bright and early this morning.

I knew it would.

I haven’t cried yet.

I took a whole blue pill instead of half.

I’m trying really hard not question God’s plan.

But I can’t help but ask,

Why not us?

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img001471for my period to start.

Today is CD 30.

I just knew it would start yesterday.

I’ve had the cramping, burning nether region for about a week.

As much I as hope, wish and pray that I’m pregnant,

I don’t think that I am.

I guess I’m going back to 32 day cycles.

All I know is that the horrible mood swings are gone.

THANK YOU GOD & BABY JESUS!!

If my period doesn’t show up by next Sunday,

I’ll POAS.

Until then,

I’ll continue to wait – impatiently.

mad1

at the world right now.

It’s been a bad week.

PMDD in full fucking force.

I’m craving carbs & sugar.

I’m meaner than a hornet.

I’ve got a good bit of self pity going on.

And STILL,

I hold out hope that this just MIGHT  be my month.

All clues point to my period starting on Sunday,

if not earlier!

And I’m STILL hoping, wishing & praying that we’ll get lucky.

Why do I do this to myself?

This has to be a form of self-hatred.

I should have taken that  little blue pill this morning.

getinmybelly11

I want a baby in my belly.

That’s all.

12

My period started early yesterday morning.

29 days this time.

I shed a few tears,

but I felt okay.

I felt………..hopeful.

Maybe the acupuncture has something to do with this.

I don’t know.

Whatever it is – I’m rolling with it

because I’m feeling kinda good!

No PMDD symptoms at all yesterday.

None today either.

I did take half of a little blue pill this morning.

Although, I probably could have gotten away without taking it.

But I didn’t want to take a chance with the evil.

I feel good,

and I could definitely get used to this!

get-in-there1I had my first acupuncture session last Saturday.

We spent the about an hour going over my medical history.

Then she checked my tongue and my pulse.

She told me that my circulation is slower than it should be for my age.

Our plan is to decrease my stress level (easier said than done).

And increase the circulation and blood flow to my uterus.

She started by inserting needles in my feet, shins, stomach, hands, arms, ears, back of the neck and my forehead.

Then she placed a an electrical stimulus on a few of the needles.

She covered my eyes,

turned down the lights

and left me.

She opened the door a while later

and asked if I was okay.

I was.

She came in again,

I don’t know how much later it was because I was knocked out.

She twisted some the needles,

I think she called it stirring my chi –

but I really don’t remember because I was so relaxed.

She left me for a while.

I awoke to her saying my name softly,

 and proceeded to burst out in tears.

I was so embarrassed,

but she said that it was a good thing.

It shows the treatment is having an effect on me.

I got it all out,

fixed my clothes and walked to the front desk.

She gave me two bottles of Chinese herbs.

Nuan Gong Yun Zi Wan for fertility.

Si Wu Tang Wan for circulation.

I take both twice a day.

They’re cute little tiny pellets.

I left there feeling so unbelievably relaxed.

I’ll see Dr. Tang once a week

for three to six months.

And maybe,

just maybe…………..

maybe we’ll get pregnant.

weary1

I mean seriously,

is that too much to ask for?

This is not a good week for me.

I know my hormones are out of whack,

I know I should be taking the little blue pill,

but I don’t want to.

i want a baby..

I want a baby……

I WANT A BABY!!!

*big sigh*

I just want a baby……….